Ramblings of a Stay at Home Mom

I have to Chespaeke Bay Retrievers left! Jake -Solid Chocolate Male and Fred – Sage/Deadgrass mix with a white spot on his chest.

http://www.stillhousehollowchesapeakes.com/

Zoe had her puppies on Tuesday June 1, 2010. 13 healthy pup! 9 males and 4 females!!!

We have had nothing but problems with Fort Hood Family Housing since moving on base…. Day one my son gets bit by the neighbors dog, day three sewage is all over our bathroom and hallway, days 5-12 nothing but nonstop barking dogs at 6:00am… And now the latest… Below is the letter I wrote to Post CSM Coleman regarding issue number one… Here’s a tip for anyone thinking about moving onto fort hood, DON’T!!!

Dear Command Sergeant Major Coleman,

                 I am writing to you this evening in hope that you might be able to help. On January 26, 2010 we moved into Fort Hood housing. On February 2, 2010 before bringing our family dogs into housing my husband brought both of our dogs to the stray facility on post and to the post veterinary clinic to get them registered and vaccinated. Both dogs were inspected by the Animal Control officers. My husband was told by Animal Control Officer Moore and Animal Control Officer Hobbs that our dogs we registered on post. We have a full blooded Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Zoe and a mixed Blue Lacy Roxy. Now, here is it almost four weeks later and we are being told we need to have a DNA test done on our Blue Lacy mix dog Roxy. Roxy was inspected by both officers and deemed a mixed breed, not a pit bull.  Even this morning, my husband was told by animal control officer Ric that we were good, and that our dog did not need to have a DNA test.  Yet according to CSM Maxwell we need to have a DNA test done. It would be nice if Housing and Animal Control could communicate more effectively. I do not understand why I have to now pay for a DNA test when, two Fort Hood Animal Control Officers have already approved her. We are a family of seven with five children, and now we are expected to pay for a DNA test that does not need to be done. We have had Roxy since the spring of 2003 and she is a member of our family.  The whole investigation of our dog started when our neighbors falsely reported that we had a pit bull. They were upset because they had their dog taken away because it attacked my son.

On January, 27 2010 our son Tyler was helping my husband unload our moving truck. He had been in our back yard and when going to open our gate to leave our backyard, the neighbor’s dog, at 51719-4 Karankawa Circle jumped up and bit my son through the gap in the wood panel fence. Immediately the MPs were called as well as our housing manager and animal control. When all parties arrived my husband told them what had happened as he is the one who witnessed the incident. The animal control officers took the dog, as it was not registered on Fort Hood, nor had it been vaccinated in the two years that it lived on Fort Hood and it had just bit my child. We were told by Sgt Thompson that they had lost their pet having privileges. Well ten days went by and the dog returned. When the dog returned my husband called CSM Maxwell and was told by her office that the family had 72 hours to remove the dog from housing. After 72 hours the dog was still there.  Then all of a sudden our registered, vaccinated, inspected dogs were now the topic of investigation. Animal Control Officer Ric came to our home and asked if we had registered our dogs on post, that he was sent by housing to inspect our dogs. I showed Ric the copies of the vaccination shots that my husband received from the on-post facility and explained to him that both dogs had already been inspected by his animal control officers. He said okay, and that upon verification from the officers that inspected our blue lacy mix Roxy that we would be fine, as he too didn’t believe her to have any pit in her. On Monday, February 22, 2010 my husband went to the Stray facility to see if Ric had spoken with Officer Moore and Hobbs, he had and we were told that we could have Roxy, that she is not a Pit Mix, but indeed a Blue lacy mix.  My husband then went to go see CSM Maxwell and inquire about the neighbors dog who bit our son and to let her know that the dog was still there. Well again focus was brought back to our dog, our dog that is registered on base, vaccinated and inspected by Fort Hood Animal Control; CSM told him that we needed to have a DNA test done on our dog. Again, we have already had her inspected, and I am confused to why this CSM can demand a DNA test after two Fort Hood Animal Control Officers inspected our dog and approved her on base.  Even more so I am disgusted that my dog is the dog being questioned, when we are the ones who did everything we needed to do before bringing her onto housing, and that the neighbors who violated the rules, and whose dog bit my child suffer no consequences.  Regardless of our dog, the facts still remain the same. The neighbor’s dog bit my child, my child who was just opening the latch to exit our backyard. The neighbor’s dog was not vaccinated in two years since they left Fort Sill and he was not registered on base or with housing. Right there are three offences, yet they still have their vicious dog. This vicious animal being not only allowed back into housing is also always outside barking, growling and snarling at my family anytime we are in our backyard, or anytime children are in the field behind the houses playing.

And if that which we suffered isn’t bad enough now we are being required to pay for a DNA test, because they (the owners of the vicious dog) falsely accused our dog of being a pit bull. Anyone who knows dogs, and knows what a Pit Bull looks like can see that our Blue lacy mix is just that and not a pit bull; she is not big enough to be a pit bull, her face is not a box like pit bull faces and she does not have the stance or characteristics of a pit bull.  She is a Blue lacy mix and we shouldn’t be required to have her DNA tested because the neighbors wanted to deflect attention from their vicious attack dog that bit our son. Housing CSM Maxwell should have permanently removed the dog from 51719-4 Karankawa, instead of making our registered dog the issue at hand.  Any assistance you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time,

Now one might claim that I am being to hard… One would be wrong. The neighbors dog BIT my son! Was not registered on base, nor vaccinated yet he is allowed to come back into base housing!

This is the one to Mr. Nix

Mr.  Nix,

Regardless of my dog, which is not a pitmix and who was approved to be on post by two of Fort Hood Animal control officers Moore and Hobbs when we registered her on post, the facts still remain the same. The neighbor’s dog bit my child, my child who was just opening the latch to exit our backyard. The neighbor’s dog was not vaccinated in two years since they left Fort Sill and he was not registered on base or with housing. Right there are three offences, yet they still have their vicious dog. This vicious animal being not only allowed back into housing is also always outside barking, growling and snarling at my family anytime we are in our backyard, or anytime children are in the field behind the houses playing. Housing SGM Maxwell should have permanently removed the dog from 51719-4 Karankawa, instead of making our registered dog the issue at hand. So now we are being required to pay for a DNA test, because they (the owners of the vicious dog) falsely accused our dog of being a pit bull. That is just ludicrous! Our dogs were visually inspected by Animal control Officer Moore and Hobbs, registered and vaccinated on post before we moved them into housing.  The dog that bit my son, had not been registered, nor vaccinated and had lived in housing for two years, yet after these three offences the dog still remains in housing, that is the issue at hand.

My final statement to all parties

It has come to my attention that SGM Maxwell made her decision regarding the dog located at 51719-4 Karankawa, that bit my child based on inaccurate information. Apparently SGM Maxwell was under the impression that my child stuck his hand through the fence. That is not the case at all. I am not sure how SGM Maxwell could get the information so wrong, as it clearly states in the report that the dog bit my son through the fence panels. The report even states that it’s recommended that the dog be removed from housing.  It would prove to be in everyone’s best interest for someone higher than SGM Maxwell to reevaluate the situation.

We will take away from our family and pay for an unnecessary canine DNA test. However, when the DNA test comes back stating that our mix breed is just that, with no pit-bull in her, the issue will still be the neighbors dog at 51719-4 who bit my child! The two do not coincide. The fact the neighbors have their vicious dog back after it bit my child is the issue! Their dog that was unprovoked, that which bit our son, when all he was trying to do was exit our side yard. Their dog for which was unregistered on post for two years, and unvaccinated for two years! That dog is the issue, that dog has been the issue. Yet SGM Maxwell wants to over look those facts and bring focus onto our dogs.  When the DNA test clears our dog, the issue will remain, because our dog is not the real issue here.

Please watch this PSA

http://www.maniacworld.com/Texting-While-Driving-PSA.html

Okay so I thought today was build a pizza day, last nightI  went out and bought sausage. This morning I got up and got the kids ready while the sausage was cooking, signed into my email to get the address and realized that the build a pizza thing was next monday LOL yup it’s going to be one of those weeks i can see that now….

I’ve been bad about writing here, spending too much time doing nothing on facebook… avoiding cleaning, and getting sucked into new books… But my sanity is slipping again, so I need to start writing before my husband trades me in for wife number four…
Well this weekend was joy filled of packing, packing, stressing, and more packing.

To top that piece of cake off, the pipe between our garage and daughters room burst, and Sunday morning she got to wake up to a soaking wet carpet! Repair man was able to come save the day, and the water extraction truck did its job pretty fast…. Now when JWC opens this morning I know I will get some sort of nasty phone call from them about how it was our fault and all…

(Note *If you are new to the Fort Hood area, AVOID JWC Property Management at all cost! )

Moving day can be as early as this Thursday! While I am not super excited about moving into base housing again, I cannot wait to be out of this house! Not that the neighborhood is bad, because it’s actually very nice, just everything that could go wrong in a rental has gone wrong in this pos house…. Well I’m starting to ramble and bitch just a tad too much and it’s not even 9am! So off to my coffee I go! Have to get the kids ready for Build-a-Pizza day! But that made you hungry uh?

I love taking pictures, I love looking back on all the pictures that I have taken and remembering how little my kids were, and going through the scrapbook timeline seeing how much they have grown. Unfortunately Henry my little camera ham, is not longer my camera ham, I pull out my camera and he starts running away screaming ‘no cheese Mahi no cheese’…. Any tips on how to get him to like taking pictures again???

Two minutes is all it took…  Just two lousy minutes…

I walked back into my living room, thinking to myself, what has he gotten into this time, as my house was all too quiet. Anyone with two walking toddlers knows that a queit house usually means trouble! As I turned the corner there he sits…. right in the middle of his creation, and in the softest voice ask  ”Isn’t it pretty mommy?’  he has covered my once beige carpet to pink.  His paint, Strawberry Trix yogurt! 

I stoped dead in my tracks, shaking my head, thinking I have another chiild…. but where is this other child, where did my little girl go…   As I walked further into my living room, there she sits…. as if she was all inocent in all of this. She too is holding a pink yogurt, curtisy of her big brother I am asuming, she has also used the trix yogurt as paint, but as body paint

I just left the room for two minutes, three at the most to start a load of laundry!  Now I get to shampoo my carpet and hope and pray that the pink trix yogurt will come out!

I hate to admit it, especially since I was oh so not happy about being stationed here, but I can honestly say that I like Texas. Fort Hood is huge! The lake on post blora is great. The kids had so much fun there this summer.

There are real roads! Highways! I know who gets excited about highways… I do!!!  I love being able to jump in my car and just go for a drive.  Just drive!  No more dirt roads! I haven’t come across one!!! Yes, Alabama was that bad, that I am happy to have highways, and traffic!  Although I have learned to avoid 190 between 4:30pm and 6, way too much traffic getting off post.

Now if I could just find some regular mommy and me type classes and story time classes to take the kids too that would be great. Having a park a few blocks away has been nice too. I think we go to the park at least three times a week if not more. Henry just loves to play!

Ella is now walking. She started last month. She is into everything. My little man has started to talk nonstop! And he’s into everything! His little sister is right behind him, getting into what ever trouble they can get into together… I know la-la was not planned, I am so happy she’s here. The way the two of them get along and play just puts such a smile on my face…. That is when he’s not pushing her down, steeling her bottle or telling her ‘dobt ella dot it write now’ lmao yup he’s too cute!

Apparently they didn’t get the memo that mommy wanted a quiet afternoon…  back to being a mom for now, guess my writings will have to wait.

~Vanessa

Yeay!!!! Down 6.2 pounds from last week! Current weight 151.8 Hard work is paying off! And I can fit back into my 8s today!!! My goal is still to get to 130ish.  5 more days and I can have real coffee again! I’m so tired of this decaf crap lol.

Today is the day. No more excuses. No more whining. Today is the day I get myself back on track. We are moved, settled in and pretty much all unpacked.

My goals;

                To lose these twenty-five pounds I have been fighting with all year and to keep it off!

My vows;

I vow not to consume overly excessive amounts of alcohol. I vow not to eat more than 1200 calories a day. I vow to do some sort of cardio for at least 30 minutes every day! I vow to go to the gym at least 3 times a week for weight lifting.

Most of my clothing is a size 6/8.  I did have a few pairs of 10s left for ya know those days during the month when I morph into psycho lady…  Now, these last twenty-five pounds and I have been fighting since March.  In March I was back down to 137! Then I got comfy and started eating junk again, and drinking again. Well the weight went back on fast and today I’m done.  Today I could not get my big fat ass into a size 10. I <cry> had to put on my maternity pants <still crying> to run to the store to get some baby food. <yup still crying>.  So no more excuses. I am taking back control of MY body.

I’m sorry Brad, I know that you have gotten accustomed to and quite found of my larger breast at this heavier size, but finally being able to fill a C cup is no excuse to become a fat ass.

So today is day one of my journey. Today is the day!

Current Weight: 158

Goal Weight: 125

Realistic Goal Weight: 135

I will weight myself every Tuesday and post about my progress. If you are wanting to join me and fight the fat, then comment below and we can encourage one another to stay on track.  I WILL GET MY BODY BACK!!!

Today was an eventful day… My daughter got her license back in July and currently still had an Alabama license, but with moving from Alabama to Texas we only have thirty days to change it. My husband and I got our daughters driver license changed from Alabama to Texas. A task one might think to be a simple task, perhaps with one, two forms at the most. But no, we were not so lucky. In the state of Texas the simple task of changing a license from one state to the next is not so simple. Her current license and drivers ed card was not enough so we had to call her old high school and have them send a detailed letter explaining their methods of drivers ed. Next we had to go to her current school and get a VOE form. A form I am still not certain what the point was, her schedule or school report card should have worked, well it worked in Alabama anyway… Next we had to fight with the women behind the counter who kept telling us that her license was expired. And yes, while her temporary 30 day paper license was expired she still had a valid driver’s license from the state of Alabama until 2012. I even brought the copy of her driving record to show the DMV. Well after two hours and a lot of phone calls we have success. My 16 year old daughter is now licensed in the great state of Texas.

Found a great coupon and just had to share! It’s from Minute Maid and Chuck E. Cheese. and by far the best Chuck E Cheese coupon I could find! Here’s the link http://www.minutemaid.com/promotions/ChuckECheese2009.pdf+

Have fun!

I am in search for some feedback/reviews on Austin Plastic Surgery Center. Have you been there? Do you know anyone who has gone there? Just pretty much any info you could share with me would be awsome.

I have a rather large birthmark turn mole on my arm that the doctors say needs to be removed.  I am looking for the best of the best plastic surgern. I know there will be a scare, the damn thing is the size of a half dollar. But the less noticable the better right???

Thanks for you help

~Vanessa

I sit here, painfully trying to type. My fingers are in a gnarled mass; deep indentations and blisters cover the surface. Why? For the love of all that is holy-WHY?!

Because I have Two children that are school age; two children that brought home folders weighing approximately 2 lbs a piece. Those folders contain paperwork that if not filled out immediately by me the end of the world will come about. Okay, maybe I exaggerate slightly, but I am pretty sure that at the very least all the puppies and kittens in the world will perish and chocolate will no longer exist…

I have nothing against supplying helpful information about my children for the school system. What I take offense in is that the same questions are repeated over and over. I feel like a prisoner of war being interrogated! Name, rank, serial number…over and over!

Excuse me, but my child is still the same sex, has the same birth date, parents, address, phone number, medical information and contact people that were listed on the first five papers that I filled out. Am I being punished for something my children did in the past? Are you trying to confuse me? I get the strange feeling that this is more than just ordinary paperwork; perhaps some kind of psychological testing you are performing on me.

If only there was some kind of technology invented in the world where you could place all of my children’s pertinent information and then just simply retrieve it when needed…if only!

Teachers; be warned! By the time I fill out all the massive informational papers I hardly feel cooperative in writing about my child in the special parent survey so you can learn about him or her. I can not be held responsible for my answers; you drove me to this point!

Child’s special hobbies and interests: bomb making, taxidermy, reading about serial killers…

Best way your child learns: My child learns best when taught by the song and dance method; preferably opera and polka.

Things I should know about your child: Deathly allergic to anything blue or yellow, has a foot fetish, has a medical condition, “shadow syndrome”; where the child repeats and does everything the teacher does, almost potty-trained…

Fingers going numb! Can-no-longer-type…heading to my physical therapist appointment! I just hope they don’t have to amputate…

4 Soldiers Killed in Army Black hawk crash on Wednesday August 19, 2009

I ask that you please pray for them and thier families. As an Army wife and the wife of an avaitor this hits a little to close to home for me. My heart goes out to the families.

All four soldiers were confirmed dead after an Army MH-60 Black Hawk helicopter crashed during a training mission on Colorado’s second-highest mountain, the Denor Post reported on Thursday.

The crash took place on Wednesday afternoon near the summit of 14,421-foot Mount Massive, the report said on its Web.

All four people on the helicopter were male soldiers, spokesman for the Army’s Special Operations Command Lt Col John Clearwater said in remarks published by the paper.

Their names haven’t been released, and no information has been made public about the cause of the crash.

The helicopter was assigned to the 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne) – known as the Night Stalkers – and was conducting a routine training mission, the report quoted army officials as saying.

The crash was first reported by US Forest Service teams cutting trails through the mountain area with a youth group. The teams heard the crash but did not see it.

Two soldiers were dead on the scene, one was injured and one was missing. The missing man was found dead late Wednesday, and the injured man died on the way to the hospital Wednesday, Clearwater said.

The Black Hawk’s flight recorder was recovered and an investigation team from Fort Rucker, Ala, was at the crash site Thursday, Clearwater said.

The MH-60 version of the Black Hawk is designed to conduct overt and covert missions, and to resupply special operations forces, according to the Army.

In March, a Black Hawk military helicopter carrying three members of the Alaska Army National Guard crashed in a snowstorm on Monarch Pass, west of Salida, Colorado. All three people on board – the pilot, the co-pilot and the crew chief – walked away from the crash.

Well, we made it Texas. Barely but we did.

I hit a ladder that was laying in the highway, I was driving 2004 dodge Ram so it wasn’t too big of a deal for me, my oldest daughter just having her license a week also hit the ladder. Thankfully neither of us were injured. We were every proud of her. She new she was going to hit it and did not freak out, she maintained control over her mustang like a pro. Unfortunately this other little girl that was a few cars behind my daughter wasn’t so lucky. She hit the ladder freaked, bounced into a 18-wheeler and then slid into the ditch nearly taking out my daughters birth mother. That was definitely a long day. After my daughter hit the ladder she and her BM pulled off to the shoulder about a ¼ mile up the road to check on her tires and her BM was going to attempt to move the tire. Well as BM was walking over to the move the ladder before someone had an accident, this other young lady hit it and after crashing into the 18-wheeler came within inches of hitting BM. Thankfully no one was injured. Well after such an eventful morning we thought that all of the bad luck we were having would be over… We were wrong. My husband’s truck over heated and died 30 miles away from Fort Hood in Belto, then the next day my daughter’s mustang over heated and died in front of Hooters. Great right….

Well just after three days of house hunting we were able to find a place in Copperas Cove, not a place I had given much thought to looking at as people kept telling me to live in Harker heights… anyways, Cove seams nice so far. I was able to find what I wanted. A house with TREES and SIDEWALKS!! While yes there are high-tension power lines running through the development, something I wanted to avoid they are a few blocks over and are not noticeable from any spot on our property. And our stuff fits in the house for the most part. With five kids it’s very hard to find something we can afford and be comfortable in. But I think we might have found it J Now, just have to find a few play groups and other moms to hang out with, and/or a job. LOL. A job out of the house would be a nice change.

This weekend I made an amazing discovery for moms everywhere; something simple and yet totally ingenious. I know you will appreciate this find so much so that you will probably want to name a national holiday after me or perhaps even one of your children in my honor.

It was Sunday. I was vacuuming. No, really-I was. My sweeper was having issues, more even than a Mommy on a bad day. The machine was making a horrific noise. I knew that it probably wasn’t very healthy for a vacuum sweeper to sound like a Leer Jet, but then again, maybe the sweeper had a dream to be a US Destroyer doing a flyby through my living room. Who was I to stand in its way?

My house really needed this domestic duty since our cleaning fairy apparently took the week off. The sweeper was sucking so I would simply have to put up with the loud, annoying sound screaming at me-after all, I was a mother of five. On a daily basis I was subjected to things a lot louder-a lot worse.

My husband suddenly came behind me and unplugged my cord. It seemed he was concerned about the extreme sound coming from Old Betsy. Instead of using his engineering degree and fixing the problem he handed me something. Here, use these. I wrinkled my nose and rolled my eyes as he handed me a green cord with two yellow spongy things attached to each end-ear plugs. I immediately asked, “Are they used?” He insisted they were fresh out of the package. I requested to see the package.

I reluctantly put in the ear plugs; knowing that I would be heckled by my children for looking like a dork. All of a sudden, the deafening sound was quieted. Everything was softened; a muffled serenity had engulfed me. I could see my children arguing. I could tell that their mouths were forming the word MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!-urgently on their lips. I simply pointed to my ears and shrugged my shoulders in feigned lack of understanding. They finally got the picture and left me be.

I swept high. I swept low. I was a sweeping diva. I didn’t want to quit; not because I had a sudden affection for this domestic duty, but because I was enjoying this soundproofed world away from the chaos that reigned around me. I finally faced the inevitable. I had faked vacuuming enough that my family was highly suspicious. I turned off the sweeper. I sighed and removed the earplugs. My children with their powerful super radar sensed I had made the removal…MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! I quickly reattached the yellow sponges into my ears; shook my head and mouthed the words; I can’t hear you…and walked away.

I may never remove these earplugs again!

Mamas I highly recommend getting yourself a pair. I really think I am on a road toward recovering some of my lost sanity. Yes, I admit that the earplugs aren’t overly attractive, but I believe if we band together the world will soon see them as a fashion statement; something hip, something new-fashionable and functional. I think I might even market them myself for mothers everywhere-Mommy Plugs; for moments of silence when the noise insists on following you around. Just think; no more will you have to try to escape the chaos. We can just blissfully ignore the noise!

Anyone want to place an order?

I can’t hear you…

no, really, I can’t!Buy the plugs today and I will throw in a Mommy Blindfold FREE! Your world could be perfect today…

Where does your city rank??

“When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.”

“They told me I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail!”

Confessions of a Shopaholic, so me lol

Henry just noticed that Jessie is in her swimsuit. He’s now stripping! Yup my boy is running through the house, pulling off his diaper, his shirt and now jumping up and down in complete madness.  Oh no, he’s spotted her, holding the sunscreen. He runs, and tries to hide under the table with the dogs. He runs again, this time into the bathroom trying his hardest to evade capture… too bad he hasn’t figured out how to lock the door. She’s got him. As he’s screaming “no no not jessie” she quickly applies the SPF 70 to the little monster little boy. Seconds pass and he’s back up. Running joyfully around the house shouting “pool pool swim”  The house gets quiet for a moment.

This I have learned is never good. Quietness is a warning that disaster is to follow. I walk around the house, Eleanor is miraculously still napping, I continue my walk… All appears well. Maybe the quiet will not be the sign of disaster… But wait, I hear Jessie “Mommy, Mom, Mommy, you have to come see this..”

Henry has changed his mind, he much rather sit in the bucket……

My little Bitty is just too cute! At least this was a disaster free day!

Its summer, hotter than hell and all of my children are of course home. You’d think that this would be a happy time. No school, no homework, just summer time fun.  Well if you are that delusional to think that is what summer entails you are in for a shock. Summer in south Alabama is HOT. My kids still have school work to do. Yes I am the evil stepmother who makes the older kids do workbooks and read all the time! What fun for me? Is an hour a day to much? Maybe it’s not enough. Maybe I should home school them all them summer and do real work!

I have my chocolate escape waiting for me, but do I dare turn to it before noon? I think I must wait. It will go very well with my evening glass of Pino Nior….

As they run through the house chasing the Bitty, my oldest plows right into the wall, and of course the rest follow. I guess they all forgot why there is no running in the house. Yet I refuse to move, I will not investigate this. I will not yell at them for injuring themselves, I will do nothing but sit here and count to 10 before I lose what little sanity I have left.  I will sit quietly with Eleanor and enjoy my youngest, my good quiet happy and still innocent child…

Actually, those numbers are being too optimistic. I know, deep down, that the risks are much greater; my chances of survival are probably less than 5 %. Who am I kidding?-the likelihood of me walking away unscathed is almost non-existent. Those are the cold, hard facts.

And, yet, I must go on. I must throw myself into a path of danger; knowing the probable outcome is not good. Realizing that my health and well being are at stake…I will go forth with my fate.

You see, I am hungry-and thirsty. While I could just turn to my beloved-chocolate-and eat without the need of any cooking or eating, drinking paraphernalia, I was hoping for a little healthier option to start my morning. If I am able to walk away, a breath still escaping my lips, I will indeed lovingly hold my sweet very soon…

I am about to open my kitchen cupboards. The cupboards that have been half-hazardly stacked, precariously teetering on the edge of destruction by young hands. Ironically, these same children have been tested “gifted” by the school system; and, yet, they can not seem to figure out that the small bowls and cups go inside the big bowls and cups, not vice versa. And if something is square then it is best to pair that item with something that is square, not circular. My husband swears he did these same activities with them as babies with their shape sorters and cup stackers! They passed with flying colors way back when…

I realize that it would just be easier to put the dishes away myself, but I am trying to train my children to be responsible; a positive addition to society. So, Cupboard Organization 101 continues…Sigh. My husband (with a straight face) suggested that I simply trace the shape of each item in its proper placement to help them in this endeavor. I will let you imagine what my response to this helpful suggestion was.
Well, my friends. It is time. Off I go in flame resistant pjs (you never know; weirder things have happened…), bubble wrap, bicycle helmet, goggles-am I forgetting something?

May the force be with me…

TIMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a public service announcement to mothers everywhere. Now that the weather is warming up, chances are highly likely that you will be opening your windows to bring about a bit of solace from the heat. Be alert; your window screen is the only barrier between YOU and the OUTSIDE world…

Be warned mothers! While you may be totally justified at raising your voice to an extreme level; a decibel that in fact is absolutely needed to penetrate the “walls” you are trying to communicate with, you should be aware that what might be acceptable previously in the privacy behind a closed window, may possibly sound like a psychotic episode now to someone passing by your house.

I would like to offer some alternatives to save you some unneeded embarrassment and having to explain yourself to Mr. Police Officer who might unexpectedly stop by to check on the noise level coming from your household. You really don’t want to be featured on a Law and Order episode, do you?

When you feel like you need to use your “mother voice” first count to ten…then find something (a shoe or a book works nicely) to lovingly throw at the person you are trying to communicate with. Continue throwing items if needed (remember you are not trying to injure this person, only make them listen to your profound words!) until you have his or her undivided attention. Using the “mother glare” is a great addition after the “toss”. If those fail, leaving you with no other choice than using your voice to make your presence known, I recommend finding the most sound proof room in the house before commencing forward with your “educational lecture”; a closet, the attic or basement are possibilities if there are no open windows in those areas. I also find going into the bathroom, closing the door and turning on the shower is an excellent way to muffle the “parenting moment” that is needed. If all else fails, count to ten again and quickly close up all your windows…

Pass this along to any other Mommy who may not be aware of this “glitch” that occurs during this warm weather season.

(To the tune: “Do you hear what I hear?”)

Said Mr. Lamb to his neighbor Mrs. Green

Do you hear what I hear?

Way across the street Mrs. Green

Do you hear what I hear?

A mom, a mom

Shouting at her kids

And her voice echoes through the window screen

And her voice echoes through the window screen…

Enough is enough. I am so tired of people bad mouthing our armed forces. I live on a military base and I still hear all this garbage. Our troops are in Iraq, whether you like it or not, whether you agree with them or not, they are there. Bad mouthing them does not help anyone or anything. They fight for our country’s freedoms; they fight to give you people your 1^st amendment rights to say the garbage you say about them. Your duty as an American is to support our troops, regardless of your believes or political views. If you don’t agree with them being there vote accordingly, but do not hold it against our troops, my husband, my friends, my family, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. They are doing their job. They are putting there lives on the line for our county, they are missing the births of there daughters, and sons, they are missing the holidays with there loved ones, and you ignorant people are blaming them for this war. They had a mission to do and they left to do it. While most came home and went back, some never made it back, they gave there live for their country, and you have the audacity to criticize them. Our soldiers are in Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, and Korea to protect us, to protect them, and you sit on the sidelines doing NOTHING to help, you just complain, criticize and fight amongst yourselves solving nothing. Just keep your mouths shut! Keep your stupid ignorant opinions to yourself, because we, the wives of soldiers, the mothers of soldiers, fathers, sisters, brothers, family and friends of our HERO’S don’t want to hear anymore of your crap!