The moment started ordinarily enough. I had just finished with my shower when I happened to walk past the bathroom mirror. It was then that out of the blue my mind started playing a children’s tune. Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? The words appeared childlike enough, except as a mother of five I was pretty sure that my senses had been heightened over the years by a combination of Mommy experience and the lack of sleep. A loss of a few brain cells along the way may also have contributed to this extra-sensory perception… Anyway, I sensed a deeper meaning hidden between the lines of this seemingly innocent song. It wasn’t my ears that the song taunted me about. It was other body parts that were hanging low-wobbling to and fro…and even though I hadn’t attempted yet, I was pretty sure it was only a matter of time before I could throw certain body parts over my shoulder like a Continental Soldier.
I pulled my fuzzy blue robe tighter as I stared at the reflection before me and wondered-who?-what?-where?-when?-for the love of all that is holy-HOW?! My body had some how betrayed me after all these years. Where was my “hot-ness” factor?-and I wasn’t referring to the Menopause that one day (many, many days away!) that inevitably would be knocking on my door. In my mind I was still a “hot mama”. Ironically, the mirror before me did in fact show a hot mama, but sadly it was only due to the left over heat from the shower steam. I wiped a towel across the mirror, smearing the reflection of the woman before me wrapped in a matronly, about as un-sexy as you could get, blue fuzzy robe.
Traitor. I whispered to myself. My body should have held up longer than this! I was pretty sure I had purchased the extended warranty on this thing. Wrinkles, highlights that were appearing whiter and whiter, extra weight, bulges that didn’t use to be there-hey, when did I grow a third breast?-never mind, that’s just my stomach…
Suddenly though, more powerful than the barrier of doubt that was building in my head, a voice of reason spoke up. A different picture was coming to light. What was the true reason I was in my current condition? Could I so easily dismiss the fact that I had housed Two human beings and later expelled them from my body? Of course there had to be some kind of ramifications for such a great feat.
I admit there are a few things that contributed to the “me” of today that could have been better left undone. My younger days of slathering up with butter, wrapping myself in tinfoil, lying under a sprinkler, and then baking, I mean tanning, probably was not the best of plans even if I did look pretty awesome deep, golden bronzed. But all my friends were doing it!-and yes, I probably would have jumped off of a bridge if they did it too. You’ll be happy to know that I am much wiser now and very repentant! As well as paler…
My years of chocolate therapy, though totally necessary, and research does show that 14 out of 10 Mommies highly recommend this process; perhaps I could have found another outlet that was just as therapeutic…Gee, I even managed to type this with a straight face! And even though I have skipped many sit-down meals due to Mommy busyness, I still managed to uphold the sacred, deep-rooted sense that it was my duty as a mother to finish off all of my kids’ leftover foods (have I mentioned we have five children?); half-eaten bowls of macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and jelly remnants, parts of hot dogs and chicken nuggets, pieces of donut holes, Poptarts, cookies, melting ice cream bars…Hey, I didn’t do this for myself, but solely as a way to be a strong positive role model to those in my household; reminding them that we do not waste food (especially when it is covered in chocolate or something else deliciously sweet!) when there are so many starving children in the world! Looking back, I suppose all of this could have had a slight affect on the shape of certain things today…
Yes, the passage of time does take a toll on a person. Do I really want to turn back the hands of the clock though-reverting back to who I once was in the past? Honestly, I love the woman of today more than yesterday. I am more rounded, albeit rounder. That’s okay. True reality has dawned. Motherhood did more than just stretch certain body parts into unimaginable proportions. The biggest stretch marks of all were left on my mother heart. And even though people can’t see the perfectly shaped, infinite vessel that I hold deep in my imperfect Mommy body, they sure know that it is there. It is who I am and I am blessed by this “condition”. And so are you!
I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and my soul knows very well.
